We asked Steven Schlozman, MD, chief of the division of child and adolescent psychiatry for University of Vermont Health, how parents can help kids cope with constant turbulence while also taking better care of themselves.

How are today’s news cycle and social media environment affecting children’s mental health?

Circumstances are changing in real time. News once aimed at adults is now widely accessible, and the lines between news, provocation and outrage are blurred. Kids may know the tawdriest details of the allegations surrounding Jeffrey Epstein. They also see adults calling each other monsters. The result is near-constant stimulation. This is nothing new over the past decade, but the scale is growing dramatically. Couple this with kids’ fear of missing out as news is continually updated, and anxiety goes up and any existing psychiatric challenges can understandably worsen.

How do children experience stress or trauma differently than adults?

Little kids might not recognize trauma: Instead, it might show up as nightmares, avoidance or hypervigilance, without their being able to connect these feelings to traumatic events. As kids age, they become more adept at making those connections. Regardless of age, the most important message is that parents and guardians are doing everything they can to keep them safe.

What signs indicate a child may be overwhelmed by what they’re seeing?

Watch for withdrawal from activities, disrupted sleep and social isolation without a clear cause. These changes can have multiple explanations, but they are important signals. It can also help to first talk through concerns with adult friends and partners before broaching these things with kids. Sometimes, we need someone else to add perspective.

How should parents support kids at different ages?

Little kids are comforted by the basics: They want to be warm, fed and comfortable. If things are less comfortable, they want to know their parents are aware and it’ll be comfortable again soon. Try not to make promises you can’t keep, but you can say that you understand and will let them know when things are likely to improve.  

Older kids might decreasingly trust adults to make things better and want to do something on their own. Encourage things like cleaning up after a flood, working at a food pantry or participating safely in political protests.

What should parents avoid saying?

Every parent is going to say something that’s well-meaning but makes things worse. Telling a middle-schooler that "being popular isn't everything" is not going to go over well. Minimizing a breakup likely will be met with stares of disbelief, or worse. Ultimately, it’s less about what we say and do (to a point), and more about our approach. Tone is everything. Kids can smell dismissiveness a mile away.

When should parents seek professional help?

Any talk of self-harm or threats to harm others needs to be taken seriously. Children and teens say a lot of things and are prone to excess, but it’s always better to check in with your pediatrician.

Learn more about Pediatric Psychiatry

What helps build resilience?

Predictable routines are great for little kids. That doesn’t mean doing the same thing every day, but foreshadowing changes whenever possible helps decrease anxiety and create a sense of self-agency.

The developmental task for children and adolescents is primarily to be children and adolescents. That’s the gift we give them as parents. Helping kids pursue the things that matter to them is super important.

How can parents model healthy coping?

Parents are human: We’re going to get worked up, and we’re going to need help to keep our cool. Checking in with partners, friends and others can help us process distressing news and keep ourselves more balanced when interacting with kids. Kids are exquisitely tuned to the tone of how their parents talk — often more than the things they say.

It’s also hard to overstate the importance of eating well and exercising, even modestly. And try to remember to have fun. Taking care of yourself is part of taking care of children.